author Deirdrie LoVerso receives “thank you” card from The White House!

 

    

From The WHITE HOUSE to author Deirdrie LoVerso

 

President Barak Obama and First Lady Michelle Obama extended their gratitude for my book, ‘Vowels: Long Sounds, Short Sounds’, that I sent and autographed for their daughter Sasha Obama.  I received this card, signed by both of them, in 2010 (see photo on this page).  The card stated, “We would like to extend our deepest thanks and appreciation for your generous gift.” 

I happily mailed and autographed my book, ‘Jade Made Me Do It!’ to Michelle Obama to present to their older daughter, Malia Obama.  Get copies of both books here:  www.createspace.com/3406832 and www.Amazon.com.

 

Would You Go to Work if a Tsunami Were Scheduled to Hit?

If you woke up and saw that the weather forecast indicated a tsunami was on its way toward the east coast would you head to work?  What are you looking for, brownie points?  All of the brownie points in the world won’t save your job if the building and your boss are wiped out by “mother nature”. 

If you feel like I do, you’d think “Bump that.  If the east coast survives the tsunami, I’d have an awesome excuse for calling out!”  Am I making light of the tragedy in Japan?  On the contrary; I was one of the thousands of folks who walked across the 59th Street Bridge in Manhattan on 9/11.  On that day, plenty of employees in the Twin Towers thought they’d win brownie points by obeying the announcements and their bosses when they were told to not panic, remain calm and to await further instruction.  Common sense told them to get the heck out of there but they feared that if no harm came to their floor they’d get fired for leaving their posts.  I know the feeling.  I used to always fear getting fired if I needed to call out due to inclement weather.  Therefore, I didn’t.  I even made my way into the office when I felt ill. 

Inclement weather is a very good reason not to go into work.  The roads are dangerously slippery, the drivers who got their licenses out of bubble-gum machines seem to come out like a pack of wolves, and it’s easier to get stranded somewhere if your car breaks down.  I recall a snow storm in 2002.  I was working as a secretary for URS Corporation in Center City.  I was basically snowed in where I lived in New Jersey.  I was relieved when I was informed that I could choose to work or stay home.  I decided to remain at home.  However, I had to declare it a personal day (I got paid but I lost a day off that I could’ve used later in the year for some other obligation). 

So, who would report to work if a tsunami was approaching?  Those who have an obligation to the community most likely would.  Firemen, doctors, paramedics, pharmacists, nurses, gas station attendants, 911 operators, etc. would have an ethical responsibility to at least attempt to show up. 

When I was in grade school I looked forward to getting that Perfect Attendance award.  But, I assure you that no such an award would be worth risking my life or well-being for.  There are Japanese workers risking their lives in the nuclear plants to help minimize how much the citizens there are exposed to nuclear radiation.  So, my hat goes off to them and to the dedicated workers in our country who make their way to work in rain, sleet, snow, blizzards, heat waves, and potentially in the midst of a tsunami.

Notwithstanding, don’t try to be a hero if there is a threat of an earthquake, a tsunami or any other natural disaster.  After all, (figuratively speaking) you can’t be another person’s lifeguard if you’re drowning yourself.

What is the explanation for so many disasters? Look up HAARP to find out.

Should Parents Allow Their Adult Children to Live with Them?

 

My Argument 

A law does not exist that demands parents to discard their children and toss all of their belongings out the door when they turn 18.  The law does, however, deem an 18 year-old mature enough to live on their own.  Actually, they may still be somewhat reliant upon their parents for college tuition assistance, guidance, transportation, storage of their belongings, a shoulder to cry on and a home to return to in between semesters.

For high school graduates, the beginning of autonomy usually occurs after they enroll in college.  If the student decides to live on campus, as opposed to commuting to school, they may become independent quicker.  While the student is away, the parents begin to take advantage of their new-found free time by engaging in fun recreational activities, hobbies and more intimate encounters with their significant other.  They may start to sleep in on their days off, join a gym and they may find it easier to keep the house clean longer as their child isn’t present to mess it up.

After living like this for a few months, the thought of their child graduating from college and beginning a life on their own may seem quite comforting.  At this point they begin to feel proud that they’ve been able to raise a child who has a promising future and provide them with a college education.  After looking forward to seeing their child obtain a college degree, have a promising career and buy their own home, many parents would feel they’ve done something wrong if their child never leaves home.

So, let me expound upon the good, the bad and the ugly when a child fails to leave their parents’ home.

The Good

Having your adult child at home does have its advantages.  You need not worry where your child is all of the time or wait anxiously for them to call you during the week.  They will be able to save money to buy their first home, a car and may have money to spare to help pay your mortgage or rent.  They may be able to help cook, mow the lawn, take out the trash, watch the house when you’re away, run errands for you, shovel snow, help host your parties, care for you when you’re ill, fix things, be present to let contractors in when you’re not home, pay your bills, wash clothes and dishes, pick up your prescriptions, keep you company, and answer the door when you don’t want anyone to know you’re home.

The Bad

You’ll have another adult in the home.  This can sometimes spell war since they’ll consider themselves a chief instead of an Indian.  Everyone wants things their way.  Yet, as a parent you’ll still have the tendency to usurp your authority over your adult child since that is what you’re used to.  They won’t want to be treated like a child anymore and, therefore, everyone may butt heads.

You’re likely to have more traffic in your home as their friends and lovers may visit.  You may feel uncomfortable if your son or daughter has a lover behind closed doors.  Do you allow this behavior and realize that he/she is capable of deciding whether or not to sleep with someone?  Or do you pull the reigns on such activity and insist that certain rules be obeyed under your roof, risking resentment from them?  Much conflict can arise if this becomes an issue. 

Another disadvantage may not present itself immediately.  The bad part about this potential behavior is that it’s insidious.  Your child may get too comfortable and lose their sense of duty by not working.  A certain comfort level may emerge whereby they’ll take for granted that mom or dad will be there to bail them out of every jam.  He or she may decide to quit any job that doesn’t satisfy their needs, even if this means forfeiting their next paycheck. 

On the other hand, you may grow accustomed to relying on that extra check to pay bills but that reliance can prove to be a false sense of security.  A major setback for everyone can take place when a new baby is a part of the picture.  You could end up at square one again when your help is suddenly needed to get up early and stay up late to care for a grandchild.  Your newfound freedom won’t be there anymore.  Also, if your child loses or quits a job you may have to foot the bill for their car note, auto insurance, food and credit card bills until they secure another gig.

The Ugly

A worst case scenario that can happen when your child moves back home is that you may never see eye to eye.  This could be as minor as a petty disagreements and the silent treatment to regular blow-ups (such as heated arguments or yelling matches), and domestic violence.  No one wins when this happens.  As a result, anger, hatred, resentment and alienation may become a part of your daily lives.  Hurtful words, which aren’t easily forgiven, tend to be spoken when everyone’s adrenaline is pumping. 

A male who remains in his parents’ home could be stereotyped as being a mama’s boy.  According to the vocal group ‘TLC’, he is looked down upon and dubbed a “scrub” (a man who doesn’t have money).  In order to attract a quality woman, he may have to prove to her that he can make it on his own outside of his parents’ home.  Females aren’t exactly expected to fly the coup until she gets married.  Others will see this situation as completely acceptable.

In Summary

With all of this said, I believe that parents shouldn’t rush their children to move out.  Unless they don’t contribute their time, money or energy towards the household, they should be welcome to remain there indefinitely.  I feel that they should only leave when they’ve completed their education, saved a good amount of money, established good credit and have a stable career.  I don’t see any harm in a 30 year-old being a viable part of the household.  I personally plan to allow my child to stay in my home until he is ready to fly solo.  After all folks, being a loving and supportive parent doesn’t end when our chicks become chickens.